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13 Aug 2009 @ 3:28 PM

Cash For Codgers

Democrats, realizing the success of the President’s “Cash For Clunkers” rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named….

“CASH FOR CODGERS” And It Works Like This…

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Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent ‘codgers’ will garner the highest amounts.

Special “Bonuses” will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for ‘codgers’ who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All ‘codgers’ will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other ‘codgers’ in repair.

via

Categories: News Posted By: Papa Mike
Last Edit: 13 Aug 2009 @ 03 28 PM

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Responses to this post » (10 Total)

Ramblingman said...
9:59 am - August 18th, 2009
Absolutely hilarious. We need more humor injected into debates. It helps show the utter hypocrisy and senseless logic employed by many.

Ramblingman
southernramblings.blogspot.com
Constitution Party said...
10:36 am - August 18th, 2009
Here’s the alternative……..
Dave said...
12:21 pm - August 18th, 2009
LMAO, that was freakin’ hillarious! Thanks for making me laugh today.
RICHARD PLUTH said...
12:25 pm - August 18th, 2009
This is GREAT fun -but I am worried. As a 66 year-old junkyard dog who is giving Obama HELL at every turn, this may give him and his flying monkeys an idea. God knows he is looking for every way he can to do away with ” useless eaters like us”. As for me I plan to go down HARD!
improve credit score said...
12:31 pm - August 18th, 2009
That s funny, i needed something to make me laugh with all the serious stuff going on! Targeted group bonus, that was the icing on the cake!
Judith in Georgia said...
1:57 pm - August 18th, 2009
Hey…..he will adopt this idea just to give him a reason to get on nightly news, YouTube and his name in all the papers…..one more time….he’s a media junkie. My kids should get a lot for me!!!!
UNKL Moose said...
2:21 pm - August 18th, 2009
Will this program be around in ten years? I’m only 55 and not worth that much now. But seriously, we shouldn’t give the mesiah any ideas!!! It could be Logans Run all over again!! :-)
Deborah said...
2:38 pm - August 18th, 2009
Dang! I’m a medicated, brussel sprout eating Republican! I better watch my back!
Jay Trieb said...
5:03 pm - August 18th, 2009
How about if we get a twofer one– turn in a fat Democrat senator or congressman. Keep the baby
Mohammed Cohen said...
5:05 pm - August 18th, 2009
Very much like Soylent Green!!! Soylent Green in PEOPLE!!!