About Papa Mike


We Ordered A Pizza To Watch Netflix Tonight!


We ordered a pizza to watch Netflix

Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?

No sir, it’s Google Pizza.

I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

OK. I’d like to order a pizza.

Do you want your usual, sir?

My usual? You know me?

According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered
an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.

OK! That’s what I want.

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried
tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

No you may not! I don’t like vegetables.

Your cholesterol needs help, sir.

How the hell do you know?

We cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Listen, I don’t want your vegetable pizza, and I take medication for my cholesterol!

Excuse me sir, but you don’t take your medication regularly. Our database indicates
that you only filled a prescription for 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network,
four months ago.

I bought the rest at another drugstore.

Not according to your credit card statement.

I paid in cash.

Sir, you didn’t withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

I have other sources of cash.
That doesn’t show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.


I’m sorry, sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.

Goodbye, I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and all this crap. I’m moving
to an island without internet, cable TV, cell phone service and jerks watching
and spying on me.

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.

SC Sheriff Wants You To Protect Your Valentine By Entering Gun Raffle


Flowers die, chocolate gets eaten, a gun is forever.


The Clarendon County Sheriff’s Office wants you to be able to bear arms for the one you love.

The flyer says “PROTECT YOUR VALENTINE!!!” And if you love your partner as much as you love the Second Amendment, this one is for you.

If you are one of the 400 people who purchase a ticket, you’ll be entered into a raffle to win a Glock 42 .380 and a Glock Model 43 .9mm. The raffle also includes free SLED-approved concealed weapons training to learn how to safely shoot with your love.

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Older Guys Have Different Priorities . . .


A 78 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her.

After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
“I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I’m game. I want $100, and there’s another condition”.

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.

“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.

He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand.

He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:

“Paint My House.”

Secret Code From The iPhone Was Posted To Github In the ‘Biggest Leak In History’



It’s unclear how it ended up on Github, but the iBoot source code leak is now being called the “biggest leak in history,” according to security researcher Jonathan Levin’s comments to Motherboard.

Levin, who wrote a series of books on iOS and macOS, says it’s a “huge deal” that the iBoot code got out. “iBoot is the one component Apple has been holding on to, still encrypting its 64-bit image,” Levin said. “And now it’s wide open in source code form.”

The code appears to be real according to his own reverse engineering. Even though the leaked iBoot code is from iOS 9, it may still be relevant to security researchers and hackers looking for holes in Apple’s mobile operating system. Apple has not confirmed the authenticity of the leak.

Any iBoot vulnerabilities discovered could lead to new jailbreaks, and even ways to decrypt the iPhone. The leak could also allow hackers to emulate iOS on non-Apple platforms.

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Checking On Norma…


A sweet little grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. In a weak, tremulous voice, she asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number?”

The grandmother said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

The operator replied, “Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.”

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “Oh, I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.”

The grandmother said, “Thank you, that’s wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.”

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in 302. Nobody tells me shit.”


Black Caucus Members Refuse To Denounce Hate Group Leader Louis Farrakhan


So when are people going to start calling them out for this?

Via Daily Caller:

Twenty-one members of the Congressional Black Caucus facing questions about their ties to Nation of Islam chief Louis Farrakhan have all refused to condemn the hate group leader.

The CBC, it was recently revealed, held a secret meeting with Farrakhan in 2005 but hid it from the public to avoid controversy. Twenty-one members of the caucus today were part of the caucus at the time of the secret Farrakhan meeting. All 21 declined to denounce Farrakhan when asked by The Daily Caller.

The Nation of Islam is so extreme that even the left-wing Southern Poverty Law Center recognizes it as a hate group, citing the group’s “theology of innate black superiority over whites and the deeply racist, anti-Semitic and anti-gay rhetoric of its leaders.” (RELATED: John Lewis Claims Trump’s’‘DNA’ Makes Him Racist [VIDEO])

Farrakhan has praised Hitler, claimed Jews are “Satantic” and said that white people “deserve to die,” among other racist and anti-Semitic statements.

The 21 CBC members, all Democrats, include high-profile Trump critics like Maxine Waters and Al Green, who have long demanded the president’s impeachment.


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SOURCE: Weasel Zippers 

First Child With Down Syndrome To Win Gerber Baby Contest Appears On Today Show


The first child with Down syndrome to be named a Gerber baby for the year appeared on NBC’s “Today” show on Wednesday with a big smile.

One-year-old Lucas Warren from Dalton, Georgia was named the winner of Gerber’s 2018 Spokesbaby contest, becoming the first child with Down syndrome to win the title since it began in 2010. He was chosen from more than 140,000 entries

Warren’s parents, Cortney and Jason, said they entered their son on a whim and were stunned that he won. They added that they are very proud of Lucas and happy that his win may help others with disabilities be accepted by society.

“We’re hoping this will impact everyone, that it will shed a little bit of light on the special needs community and help more individuals with special needs be accepted and not limited,” Jason Warren said. “They have the potential to change the world, just like everybody else.”

Lucas’ mom is hoping that her son will be proud of his achievement when he is older.

“He may have Down syndrome, but he’s always Lucas first,” Cortney said. “He’s got an awesome personality and he goes through the milestones of every child … we’re hoping when he grows up and looks back on this, he’ll be proud of himself and not ashamed of his disability.”

Bill Partyka, president and CEO of Gerber, said in a statement that Lucas’ smile won over the hearts of his staff.

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SOURCE: Weasel Zippers 

Is The Deep State About To Be Deep Sixed?


One thing is for damn sure, there is a Deep State and the recent release of the memo about the FBI and their dirty deeds has highlighted that they have their very own cheerleaders in the modern media conglomerates.

The media in this country has already been shown too many times to count that they absolutely can’t be trusted and now the Eff Freakin’ Bee Eye has shown without a doubt that they have some dirty bastards running the joint too.

Toss in the DOJ while under the direction of former Attorney General Loretta Lynch and Eric Holder before her and the shady shit they had going along with just about every federal agency under the Obama administration it seems and add all that up.

What do you see?

I see a federal government completely out of control ,who collectively thinks that laws are for little people and nothing they do, if crow barred in under the big tarp of National Security is out of bounds.

That all may be changing here real soon.

The memo was just the opening shot.

There is a lot more to come and if the screaming denials of the media and the bad actors we have seen so far is any indication, there is going to be a great purge coming.

It should be fairly obvious to anyone with even a smattering of intelligence that a great deal of very serious criminal offenses have been committed.

To get a grasp on just how far reaching this current conspiracy reaches, take a gander at this handy graphic by American Patriot Matt Bracken,

As mind boggling as the scope of people involved here who have been identified is, remember that former President Obama and former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and her entire cabal of crooks aren’t even in the picture , yet.

We are talking about a crime syndicate here and they are involved in this, trust me.

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University Of Louisville Students Should Be Able To Carry Guns On Campus, Lawmaker Says


Rapists beware.

Via Courier Journal:

Students at the University of Louisville and Kentucky’s other public universities should be allowed to carry concealed weapons on campus, a state lawmaker says.

“Law-abiding citizens have a right to protect themselves,” said state Rep. Tim Moore, R-Elizabethtown, adding that college campuses, where shootings have become more frequent in recent years, may be one of the riskier places a student ever goes.

House Bill 210 would prohibit Kentucky’s publicly funded colleges and universities from restricting a person’s ability to possess a gun on campus if the person has a license to carry a concealed deadly weapon. It would also limit state and local governments’ ability to impose such restrictions on buildings they own, with the exception of courtrooms and detention facilities.

“People who have evil intent look for ways to perpetrate their evil intentions in a place … where there is going to be the least possibility of resistance,” said Moore, who filed similar legislation last year.

But state Rep. Attica Scott, D-Louisville, believes allowing more guns on college campuses and in government buildings could lead to deaths.

“I see that as making us less safe,” she said. “I look up in the (House) chambers and I’m thinking, ‘Wow, what if someone up in the chambers has a gun and they’re upset about a piece of legislation that we’ve passed and they decide to open fire?’ We’re a captive audience.”

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