NY Times Reporter Leaves The Urban Environment to Find The Campiest Place on Earth: Great Falls, MT

 

 

They take time to mock the 85-year-old female piano player.

Via NY Times:

When a study recently found Great Falls the least gay-friendly city in Montana, one man wrote on a local news website, “Let’s keep it that way.”

Mermaids are totally tolerable, though.

Great Falls, home to 59,000 mostly conservative citizens, can be a soul-deadening place. Big-box stores and chain restaurants line the weary main drag. The primary employer is Malmstrom Air Force Base, which services nuclear missile silos. The wind chill has been known to hit 40 below.

But you can’t hold life back. It always breaks through — sometimes in unintentionally hilarious ways — even in the most unlikely places.

I don’t know how else to account for the Sip ‘n Dip, a kitsch-tastic tiki bar hidden inside the O’Haire Motor Inn here. To find this treasure, you walk past the stack of Western Ag Reporter newspapers in the lobby and climb a narrow set of carpeted stairs. There, swimming behind glass six nights a week on a rotating schedule, you will find 12 women dressed very convincingly as mermaids.[…]

As it happens, the mermaids alone do not make the Sip ‘n Dip the campiest cocktail lounge in the history of campy cocktail lounges. (Honorable mentions to the Red Fox Room in San Diego and the velvet-wallpapered Bryant’s in Milwaukee.) Adding to the atmosphere is an 85-year-old singer: “Piano Pat.”

Pat Spoonheim has been an institution at the Sip ‘n Dip since 1963. (The bar opened in 1962 and has the original Naugahyde to prove it.) She still arrives three nights a week with a towering hairdo. She applies a little lipstick, adjusts the Ace bandage on her wrist and sits down at an electric keyboard encircled by Christmas lights. Ms. Spoonheim can be a little cranky — she’s sick and tired of “Sweet Caroline,” she’ll have you know. But she will accommodate the occasional request. She describes her style as “jazzy.”

“We’re rockin’ and rollin’,” she was shout-singing when I dropped in over the summer. “It’s Great Falls! On good-Ole Friday night!”

Two macho-looking dudes in cowboy hats lifted their drinks (blue concoctions topped with umbrellas) and roared in unison: “We love you Piano Pat.” A guy wearing a T-shirt reading “Beer, Bacon, Guns & Freedom” turned away from the mermaids long enough to clap. A husky lady with the remnants of a home perm fervently tapped her fork on a platter of meatloaf.

Oh, didn’t I mention the menu?

Despite its landlocked location, the Sip ‘n Dip has tiki décor. Blowfish and glass buoys hang from a thatched ceiling. There are velvet paintings, fake ferns and seashell lights. Behind the Formica bar, pink light glows upward through stacks of cocktail glasses. But the food is pure home on the range. There is a full menu. For $15.95, you can enjoy the Hog Heaven (pulled pork, macaroni and cheese, bacon bits). That meatloaf will also set you back $15.95. It comes with potatoes and gravy.

Keep reading…

WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF TRUMP SIMPLY AIRED THIS?

 

Donald Trump should just televise this Bill Clinton speech from 1995 and then simply state “I’m Donald Trump and I approve this message.”

Oh, please, please let this go viral. Not one word of commentary needs to be added.

Very short video – about 84 seconds.

 

Bill Clinton Flew On Pedo Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express” — Ex-Secret Service Agent Threatens To Expose New Details

 

It’s well documented former President Bill Clinton flew on convicted child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet. During a Twitter spat with former Hillary Clinton aide Nick Merrill, former Secret Service agent Dan Bongino threatened to reveal new details about “Lolita Express.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MADAM’: Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s ex-lover, is pictured hugging him on the day a child sex abuse investigation was opened…

  • The Palm Beach, Florida police and the FBI both investigated charges that Epstein consorted with underage girls used for prostitution.
  • Court documents show that police found a ‘clear indication that Epstein’s staff was frequently working to schedule multiple young girls between the ages of 12 and 16 years old literally every day, often two or three times per day.’
    One victim said under oath that Epstein molested her at least 50 times, beginning when she was 13.

She said she and other girls were lured to Epstein’s home with promises of hundreds of dollars for modeling or for massaging him.
But once they were at his house, she said, Epstein ordered them to disrobe and massage his naked body – while he masturbated and abused them with sex toys.


Flight logs show the former president jetting to Brunei, Norway, Russia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, the Azores, Africa, Belgium, China, New York, and Belgium – all on Epstein’s plane

INTO AFRICA: This was the flight from New York’s JFK airport to the Azores which began a tour of Africa for Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey and others on board Epstein’s private jet.

 


Epstein’s jet was reportedly set up with beds where guests had group sex with young girls.

One of them, Virginia Giuffre, has claimed she was lured into joining Epstein’s harem when she was just 15 years old and was then known as Virginia Roberts.

The former teen prostitute has said she was used as a ‘sex slave.’

FREQUENT FLYER: Bill Clinton took far more rides on convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘Lolita Express’ airplane than has been previously disclosed, according to a Fox News report


Bill Clinton spent enough time aboard disgraced Wall Street mogul Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘Lolita Express’ airplane that he should be eligible for frequent flyer miles, according to a shocking new report that reveals how often the former U.S. president road along with with the convicted sex offender.

Flight logs reviewed by Fox News show Clinton took 26 trips aboard Epstein’s Boeing 727 jet, more than double the 11 flights previously known.

 

 

These Contractors Should Have Been Fired Yesterday

 

A car lover’s dream is to be rich enough to own a two-story garage, but it looks like these people got a little ahead of themselves. Just looking at the shot of the road… there’s almost no way this would have ever worked. Where would it have connected? Was the plan to make a spiral staircase-like driveway? This was just doomed from the start.

On the plus side, this kind of looks like it would be a great way to protect your family from a zombie apocalypse, which is always a worry for any forward-thinking millennial. Oh, we know! This garage actually holds a tiny plane, and this homeowner is just very anti-social.

 

A short but beautiful love story…

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, ‘Ma’am I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.’

‘I have a better idea,’ she replied, ‘Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married’.

‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed.

‘Good,’ she replied, ‘Get your own fu*&ing blanket!’

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End.