Two Guys Looking for Their Wives In Walmart

 

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy,

“Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention

to where I was going.” The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence.

I’m looking for my wife, too…I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her…

what does she look like?” The young guy says,

“Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra,

long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?’

To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, — let’s look for yours.”

 

Mechanic vs Heart Surgeon

 

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.


The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?”

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix ’em, put ’em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic..

“Try doing it with the engine running.”

Community Dump

 

LOOKS LIKE MARINE CORPS “BOOT CAMP” AT PARIS ISLAND!!

Must be close to the Mexican border – they’ve got wastepaper baskets to keep the ‘migrants’ from throwing their used crap paper on the floor.
Anybody living in a border state knows exactly what I’m talking about.

11-Year-Old Docked Points On Homework Assignment for Not Bashing Trump

 

This should be all over the Mainstream Media AND the “View”, but oh no their freaking Liberal Network BIAS won’t allow it……..Papa Mike

Indoctrination under way.

Via PJ Media:

To say that some people dislike Donald Trump may well be the understatement of the year. It’s hard to imagine any duly elected president seeing so many protests, yet here we are.

It’s so bad that now an 11-year-old in Annadale, New York, was docked 15 points on a homework assignment because she failed to answer a question demanding students bash Trump:

Vincent Ungro, a dad from Annadale, New York, has an 11-year-old daughter who attends I.S. (Intermediate School) 75. She asked him for help with her vocabulary homework last Friday night because she was trying to fill in the blanks from a word bank to complete her assignment — and was really puzzled.
“President Trump speaks in a very superior and _________ manner insulting many people. He needs to be more __________ so that the American people respect and admire him,” read one homework sentence.

The next question was: “Barack Obama set a _________ when he became the first African-American president.”

And what were the choices for the two questions, you ask? These three words: “haughty,” “humble,” and “precedent.” You can guess which ones were meant to be the “correct” answers in this teacher’s mind.

Ungro, 46, told his daughter not to fill in those blanks — and wrote a note to the teacher, Adria Zawatsky, on the homework sheet, as The Post noted. “Please keep your political views to yourself and do not try to influence my children on them. Thank you,” he wrote.

 

Keep reading…

Valerie Jarrett: Obama Should Get Credit For Good Trump Economy

 

 

She’s totally Delusional!!

Via Daily Caller:

Obama administration senior advisor Valerie Jarrett said on CNN Friday that her old boss should be given credit for the economy improving under President Trump.

“The breaking news that we just had moments ago were the new job numbers, the lowest in anybody’s memory, 3.9 percent unemployment rate,” Alisyn Camerota said. “It’s been 15 months of Donald Trump’s presidency. Do you give him credit for that?”

Keep reading…

Farrakhan Supporter Linda Sarsour Makes CNN’s Top 25 ‘Influential American Muslims’

You GOT to be kidding me! This women hates Jews and Christians no matter what BS she says!…SICK-SICK-SICK!……..Papa Mike

Anti-semitism apparently just duckie for CNN. Her leftism makes it all okay.

Via Daily Caller:

Women’s March leader Linda Sarsour, a staunch supporter of Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, made CNN’s list of “25 Influential American Muslims.”

“CNN spent a year interviewing more than 100 American Muslims, asking who they think are the most influential Muslims in their fields,” states a CNN article introducing the list. “We sought nominees for whom religion is part of their public identity, but other than that, we let American Muslims do most of the talking.”

Sarsour made the list despite her support for Farrakhan, a notorious racist and anti-Semite. Sarsour has a history of supporting radical figures like Farrakhan and Palestinian Rasmea Odeh. Sarsour once accused CNN anchor Jake Tapper of “joining the ranks of the alt right.”

CNN’s profile didn’t mention Sarsour’s Farrakhan support. “Often outspoken, Sarsour has faced criticism for aligning with questionable characters and sharply denouncing Zionism,” the article said. “But many Muslims say she is the kind of uncompromising, unapologetic leader their community needs right now.”

 

Keep reading…

Pentagon Confirms Chinese Fired Lasers at U.S. Pilots

 

The Pentagon confirmed Thursday that Chinese nationals fired lasers near a military base in east Africa against U.S. military aircraft in the region, injuring several pilots.

Pentagon Press Secretary Dana White said the U.S. government made diplomatic protests to the Chinese government over several recent incidents of laser firings near China’s first overseas military base at Djibouti.

“These are very serious incidents. There have been two minor injuries. This activity poses a threat to our airmen,” White told reporters.

“We have formally demarched the Chinese government, and we’ve requested that the Chinese investigate these incidents,” she added.

The number of incidents is “more than two but less than ten” and the laser firings took place in recent weeks, White said.

White said the Pentagon is confident that Chinese nationals were behind the laser firings but did not elaborate on the intelligence linking Beijing to the incidents.

She declined to speculate on the Chinese motive behind the laser attacks.

“I believe there have been cases where this has happened previously,” White said. “But what this started was these last few weeks we decided to become very serious about it, and we have demarched the Chinese, and we’ve asked for the investigation.”

China’s government has not commented on the incidents. A Chinese military expert told the state-run Global Times newspaper that the U.S. accusations that China used a laser weapon in Djibouti was “groundless.”

China opened the military base in Djibouti last year and plans to deploy some 400 troops there.

SOURCE: Washington Free Beacon

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New NRA Ad Featuring Sutherland Springs Hero Will Leave You Speechless

 

 

A good guy with a gun…

Via Daily Wire:

The National Rifle Association (NRA) has released a new ad featuring Stephen Willeford, a plumber from Sutherland Springs, Texas who heroically chased and shot a deranged gunman who killed 26 people at the nearby Baptist church. Willeford, a good guy with a gun who stopped a bad guy with a guy, tells his story in the moving ad.

“My daughter came into the bedroom and she said, ‘Dad, there’s a man in black tactical gear shooting up the Baptist church,” Willeford, an NRA member, says at the start of the ad. “Every one of those shots, to me, represented one of my neighbors, one of my friends, and I ran as fast as I could.”

“Immediately, he came out of the church shooting at me,” he recalled. “He hit the truck in front of me, he hit the car behind me, he hit the house behind me, and I hit him.”

“He had an AR-15, but so did I,” Willeford continued. “It’s not the gun, it’s the heart; it’s a matter of the heart. I’m not the bravest man in the world or anything, but I was here, I was here and I could do something. And I had to do something.”

Earlier this week, Willeford penned an opinion piece for the Dallas News recalling that tragic day and speaking about the importance of the Second Amendment and the NRA.

“Anti-gun politicians and anti-gun activists have made clear their belief that the way to stop criminals is to restrict the rights of law-abiding citizens, and many have blamed the men and women of the NRA for acts of deranged individuals. Sometimes it feels like the mainstream media hates firearms,” he wrote.

“I am proof that they are wrong. I am also proof that the NRA’s familiar mantra is true: The best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,” he added.

 

Keep reading…

Joke Of The Day

 

A Retiree sits around the house all day, so, one day his wife says,”Bill, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week”.

The guy gives it a moment’s thought and says:
“Sure, why not. Where’s the vacuum?”

Half an hour later, Bill walks into the kitchen to get some coffee.
His wife says, “I didn’t hear the vacuum running. I thought you were going to use it.”

Exasperated, Bill answers, “The stupid thing is broken. It won’t start. We need to buy a new one.”

“Really”, she says, “Show me – It worked fine the last time I used it”.

So, he showed her…. Click here.

Therapy Dogs Work Miracles. But Do They Like Their Jobs?

 

A new study examining the stress levels of working canines provides some reassuring results.

If you’re a dog lover, just being with your pet feels good.

So it’s no surprise that therapy dogs are healing companions for people with health conditions such as cancer, post-traumatic stress syndrome, and dementia.

There are over 50,000 therapy dogs in the United States, and they’re becoming more popular in countries from Norway to Brazil. Trained and certified by a variety of organizations, these dogs and their handlers go into hospitals and other facilities and interact with patients.

Research confirms that the benefits of pet therapy are real—but what do dogs think about helping humans? Science has considered this question too, and the results are reassuring. (Read why pets are so good for us.)

A recent study in Applied Animal Behaviour Science reports that therapy dogs in pediatric cancer wards are not stressed by their “work,” and in fact seem to enjoy it in most cases.

“What made this study unique was that it was multisite—it took place in five different hospitals across the country—and the fact that we visited over a hundred patients and 26 dogs participated, making it the largest of its kind in this field,” says study leader Amy McCullough, national director of research and therapy at American Humane, a Washington, D.C.-based animal welfare organization.

WORKING LIKE A DOG

The researchers measured levels of cortisol, a hormone elevated in response to stress, in the canines’ saliva. The swabs were taken both at home and during therapy sessions at the hospital.

However, cortisol level rise with both good and bad stress. “Let’s say we have a dog that loves to play ball—when the ball comes out and the dog starts chasing the ball, that would elevate the dog’s cortisol levels as well,” McCullough says.

So the team also videotaped and analyzed 26 canine behaviors in three categories: friendly actions such as approaching a person or play-bowing; moderate stress indicators such as lip-licking and shaking; and high-stress behaviors like whimpering. (Read more about why dogs are so friendly.)

MORE ON THIS ARTICLE HERE

Clapper and Brennan STILL Have Security Clearance as They Trash Trump and Work at CNN, MSNBC

 

It is being reported that both former DNI Chief James Clapper and former CIA Director John Brennan still have their security clearances. 

Clapper admitted to leaking the dossier briefing to CNN after lying about it and Brennan is caught in a perjury trap over his involvement with Hillary’s dossier.

To make matters worse, both men enjoy cushy jobs as analysts for the ‘destroy Trump’ media.

This is unprecedented. 

Investigative reporter, Sara Carter said hiring suspected leaker, James Clapper raises ethical questions.

Former CIA Director John Brennan does not hide his hatred for President Trump. He routinely threatens Trump and lashes out at the President from his Twitter account.

Over the weekend, John Brennan warned Trump about Mueller’s investigation, stating, “Stay tuned Mr. Trump…”

The former CIA Director then defended his partner-in-crime, Clapper and attacked Trump for rightfully calling Clapper a “lying machine.”

Brennan also enjoys a cushy gig as an intel analyst for Trump-hating MSNBC intel.

The House Intel Russia report revealed James Clapper leaked the dossier briefing to CNN’s Jake Tapper then lied about it.

Clapper then lied about leaking over and over again, including under oath.

Leaker and liar James Clapper is contracted with CNN as an analyst.

These two corrupt, Trump-hating men still have their security clearances while working with the ‘destroy Trump media’ and people say there is no Deep State.

California Bill Will Allow Illegal Immigrants To Serve In Government…

 

IT WILL DEFINITELY NEVER BECOME LAW!!

Via Daily Caller:

As California expands services to illegals residing in the state, legislation introduced Monday in the state legislature would allow them to sit on government boards and potentially collect pay for doing so.

According to the Sacramento Bee, Democratic state Sen. Ricardo Lara’s bill would change the current law surrounding appointments to state and local boards to include anyone over the age of 18 — without considering whether the nominee is an American citizen.

“California is stronger when we utilize talents of all our residents, and opening state and local boards and commissions to every Californian will allow us to better serve our diverse communities,” Lara said in a statement.

 

Keep reading…

Nearly Everyone Was Appalled Over The Nasty, Vile Insults ‘Comedienne ’ Michelle Wolf Hurled At Sarah Huckabee Sanders During The Annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner Saturday Night.

 

The gutter ‘comedian’ even cracked a joke about abortion as the audience of liberal snakes laughed.

Pure evil.

James Woods went off on the foul-mouthed ‘comedian’ and liberal reporters at the WHCD in an epic tweetstorm.

The annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday night was an utter disgrace.

President Trump did not attend, rather he held a rally in Michigan to connect with the citizens of middle America.

Michelle Wolf said this about Vice President Mike Pence’s pro-life stance on abortion:

“He thinks abortion is murder, which, first of all, don’t knock it ‘til you try it–and when you do try it, really knock it. You know, you’ve got to get that baby out of there. And yeah, sure, you can groan all you want. I know a lot of you are very anti-abortion. You know, unless it’s the one you got for your secret mistress.”

Michelle Wolf also mocked Sarah Sanders as Aunt Lydia in the Handmaiden’s Tale, a bull-dyke gym teacher and attacked Sanders over her ‘smoky eye’ look. Wolf concluded with the racist, sexist attack in which she called Sanders a traitor to ‘white women.’

Social media was set ablaze Saturday night and the shock spilled over into Sunday after Michelle Wolf trashed Sarah Sanders and laughed about murdering unborn babies.

Patriotic actor James Woods gave this gutter comedian a piece of his mind on Sunday.

James Woods tweeted called Michelle Wolf “low class trash” in response to Matt Drudge asking why Sarah Sanders and Kellyanne Conway didn’t walk out as Wolf trashed them:

Woods blasted the WHCD Association President:

He said Republican women running for office should use the clip of Wolf trashing Sarah Sanders in their campaigns:

James Woods then blasted lefty New York Times crank Maggie Haberman:

Truth bomb: Michelle Wolf couldn’t even memorize her ‘jokes’.

 

 

 

Illegal Alien Lived A Flashy Florida Life, Hung With Rick Ross, Until Cops Found 105 Pounds Of Weed

 

He didn’t stay in the shadows.

Via Tampa Bay Times:

Victor Yanez, a 25-year-old with a penchant for tattoos, exotic cars and trips to Las Vegas, knew the cops were on to him.

Two years ago, he agreed to cooperate with state prosecutors after Miami detectives found him with counterfeit labels used to hide illegal bottles of powerful prescription cough syrup.

Fast forward to September, and deputies in the Florida Keys pulled him over for speeding and arrested him after allegedly finding a bag of marijuana inside his Mercedes-Benz. A few weeks later, federal agents raided his girlfriend’s ocean-view luxury Brickell condo, seizing 2,274 grams of marijuana, 1,004 grams of the club-drug Molly and over 100 more counterfeit prescription labels, according to court documents.

But investigators say none of that deterred Yanez. Last week, Miami-Dade Schools police and U.S. Homeland Security Investigations agents raided his $800,000 Doral house and found three suitcases stuffed with 105 pounds of marijuana, 91 vials of cannabis oil, 24 counterfeit prescription labels and nearly $16,000 cash, according to an arrest report.

And two guns — heavily armed police officers burst into his house and found Yanez wielding an AK-47, according to an arrest report by Miami-Dade Schools Detective John Messenger. Yanez surrendered peacefully and was arrested on charges including armed trafficking, possessing counterfeit prescription labels and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. No arraignment date has been set.

Even if a Miami-Dade judge were to grant Yanez bail, he will be detained by federal immigration authorities who suspect Yanez is living in the United States illegally from Colombia.

 

Keep reading…