Ordering Pizza

 

This may be funny now, but you really don’t know how close we are to this being the TRUTH!!

 

CALLER:


Is this Gordon’s Pizza?


GOOGLE:


No sir, it’s Google Pizza.

CALLER:


I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
 

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me.

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.  We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
 


CALLER:


WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE:


I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago…

Outraged Democrats Call For Strong Response After Comey Bombshell.

 

FOR THE GOOD OF OUR COUNTRY PATHOLOGICAL LIAR PRESIDENT TRUMP NEEDS TO BE IMPEACHED!! ………Papa Mike 

Comey Thinks Rosenstein ‘Acted Dishonorably’

 

Via Daily Caller:

Former FBI Director James Comey said Sunday he believes Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein “acted dishonorably” when he wrote the damning memorandum that claimed Comey mishandled the Clinton email investigation.

Comey told ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos that Rosenstein wasn’t right to release that narrative before President Donald Trump fired him.

“The deputy attorney general, in my view, had acted dishonorably by putting out this pretext about why I was fired,” Comey said Sunday.

“Almost everyone agrees that the Director made serious mistakes; it is one of the few issues that unites people of diverse perspectives. The way (Comey) handled the conclusion of the email investigation was wrong,” Rosenstein wrote. “As a result, the FBI is unlikely to regain public and congressional trust until it has a Director who understands the gravity of the mistakes and pledges never to repeat them.”

Keep readiing…

Are We Stupid Or What?

 


Letter to my Boss,

I have enjoyed working here these past several years.

You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief.
I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.

Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.

During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.

Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter

I can and will do this.

Sincerely,

EVERY SENATOR or CONGRESSMAN
RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION

Are we stupid or what?

Electoral College

 

We might all wanna tuck this away for future presidential elections——just in case someone gets  a wild hair AGAIN to use the “popular count” rather than the electoral college. Wow—–very interesting to say the least. 
 
In their infinite wisdom, the United States’ Founders created the Electoral College to ensure the STATES were fairly represented. Why should one or two densely populated areas speak for the whole of the nation?
 
The following list of statistics has been making the rounds on the Internet. It should finally put an end to the argument as to why the Electoral College makes sense.
 
Do share this. It needs to be widely known and understood.
 
There are 3,141 counties in the United States.
 
Trump won 3,084 of them.
 
Clinton won 57.
 
There are 62 counties in New York State.
 
Trump won 46 of them.  Clinton won 16.
 
Clinton won the popular vote by approx. 1.5 million votes.
 
In the 5 counties that encompass NYC, (Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Richmond & Queens) Clinton received well over 2 million more votes than Trump. (Clinton won 4 of these counties; Trump only won Richmond)
 
Therefore these 5 counties alone, more than accounted for Clinton winning the popular vote of the entire country.
 
These 5 counties comprise 319 square miles.
 
The United States is comprised of 3,797,000 square miles.
 
When you have a country that encompasses almost 4 million square miles of territory, it would be ludicrous to even suggest that the vote of those who inhabit a mere 319 square miles should dictate the outcome of a national election.
 
Large, densely populated Democrat cities (NYC, Chicago, LA, etc.) DO NOT and SHOULD NOT speak for the rest of our country!
 
And…it’s been verified and documented that those aforementioned 319 square miles are where the majority of our nation’s problems foment.
 
 

Hero Officer Knew The Danger, Went Anyway

Killer had 111 arrests. Why was he even loose?

Via Boston Herald:

Police officer Sean Gannon is a hero — plain and simple. His life should not have been cut so short at the young age of 32.

Gannon paid the ultimate sacrifice to keep our community safe when a thug allegedly opened fire on him while searching a home the criminal was hiding out in.

It is unfortunate the death penalty is not allowed in Massachusetts because Thomas Latanowich doesn’t deserve the right to breathe and is the perfect candidate for lethal injection.

This sad story that unfolded on Cape Cod should be a reminder of the daily sacrifice the men and women in blue make for our country and community every day.

 

Keep reading…

White House Releases Assessment of Alleged Chemical Attack in Douma — Read the Full Report HERE

 

President Donald Trump announced on Friday in a 9:00 PM press conference that the US will attack Syrian targets following the alleged gas attack by the Assad regime last weekend.

Missiles started flying immediately after the President’s comments.

US military officials announced on Saturday morning that EVERY missile fired last night hit its target.

The attack was a response that the Assad regime launched a chemical gas attack on the people in Douma, Syria on April 7th.

The same US-backed rebels who accused the Assad regime of a chemical attack also used chemical weapons against the Kurds in 2016.

Here is the full report released by the White House on their assessment of the alleged chemical attack in Douma on April 7, 2018.

US military officials announced on Saturday morning that EVERY missile fired last night hit its target.

The attack was a response to a allegations that the Assad regime launched a chemical gas attack on the people in Douma, Syria on April 7th.

Pentagon: Strikes will set back Syria’s chemical weapons “for years”

Lt. Gen. Kenneth McKenzie, the director of the Joint Staff, said that the coordinated strikes which struck targets in Syria overnight will set the country’s chemical weapons capability back “for years.”

He added that “none of our aircraft or missiles in this operation were successfully engaged” by Syrian regime.

 

MORE ON THIS STORY HERE

 

 

Pilot Sucked Out Of Cockpit…

An aviation disaster was narrowly averted on this day in 1990 when a wrongly installed panel of the windscreen on British Airways Flight 5390 fell out, causing the plane’s cockpit to decompress and its captain to be pulled halfway out of the aircraft at over 17,000 feet.  Below is an animated recreation of the flight…

Laura INGRAHAM RIPS STRIKES: TRUMP PROMISED TO ‘RETHINK’ U.S. ROLE IN MIDDLE EAST

 

VIDEO HERE

INGRAHAM: “It is interesting, the president’s elected over a year ago, he ran on being a non-interventionist. But these are two very limited, targeted, so far at least with this last one, military strikes. But nevertheless, when you look back on some of the president’s old tweets — and tweets can really come back and bite you, we know that. In 2013, ‘We should stop talking, stay out of Syria and other countries that hate us, rebuild our own country, make it strong and make it great again.’ ‘What I’m saying is, stay out of Syria,’ It goes on. ‘If the U.S. attacks Syria and hits the wrong target and hits civilians, there will be to hell to pay.” These tweets go on and on, mostly from September 2013, of course when Obama was still in. Is this just the reality of governance now, the reality of being commander in chief?”


NEIWEEM: “I think it’s the reality of when you step into that Oval Office and know what you only know when you’re the president, you’re looking at that information; you want to hit hard and want to be effective without have that ground footprint increase.”


INGRAHAM: “Yeah. There’s no ground troops — we have 2,000 people there. Not to minimize that. That’s a lot of troops. But –”


BRAMER: “We have 2,000 on the ground there and many, many more in the region. And I’ll back up what Chris said. The president doesn’t want to go in there. But he’s a human being. And when you look on TV and you see the horrible images of these children and these women —“


INGRAHAM: “—But as I said before, we can hold up what the bishops in South Sudan have shown the world community and nobody cares. What’s happening in South Sudan. We can see this in Nigeria. What happened to the girls taken by Boko Haram. There are horrific things; China’s still cutting babies out of wombs, they have re-education camps in China. I mean, yeah, it’s horrible, but there’s horrible stuff happening all over the world, not with probably chemical weapons, but with burnings, mutilations, mass rape. That’s all I’m saying: There’s only so much America can do. And I’m speaking for what I think are people out there who are worried. And they’re worried because they’re gun shy because of Iraq. They’re very worried about that. And that’s one of the reasons Trump won this election. Because unlike the Bushes and unlike Romney and Rubio, Trump came out and said, ‘You know something? It was a mistake, and we should rethink how we deploy our forces Middle East.’ And I think, obviously a lot of people, a majority of people, agree with that.”


SOURCE BELOW