The Wonders of Baking Soda

(Natural News) Baking soda is an incredibly useful product that can be used in your garden. The household staple has been gaining popularity in the last few years because it is an inexpensive and abundant alternative to many synthetic chemicals out there. What’s more, baking soda — being all-natural — offers little to no side effects. We regularly feature the many benefits and uses of baking soda. For this edition, we’ll be focusing on how you can maximize that extra box of baking soda to make your garden flourish.
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Weekend Humor?

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started……

——————————————————————————

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed,
“He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started…

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, “When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And that’s how the fight started…

_______________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.’

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started……..

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning…the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said ‘I am NOT Happy!’
So I said, ‘Well, which one ARE you then?’

That’s how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift…

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

United Airlines Gives Free Flights To Illegal Aliens

Via Daily Caller:

United Airlines revealed the company will provide complimentary flights to families who were separated as they illegally crossed over the United States border.

United is partnering with FWD.us, an advocacy group known for defending illegal immigrant rights, which made the announcement Wednesday.

In a statement on Facebook, FWD.us welcomed United to the partnership and thanked the airline for joining the ‘Flights For Families’ campaign. The effort is working to reunite parents that have been separated from their children when they were detained illegally hopping the border. United will be donating flights to rejoin the families. (RELATED: Delta, United Scrap Discounts For NRA Members)

“A growing community of support is coming together to reunite families who were separated at the border. We are so thankful and happy to announce that United Airlines is jumping in and helping,” FWD.us’s statement read. “Thanks to this partnership with United, we are able to provide travel to the recently reunited immigrant families to get to their next destination with dignity.”

Keep reading…

Eric Holder At Center Of New Ethics Complaint In Ohio AG Race

He’s not even back in it yet and he’s already breaking the law again.

Via Washington Examiner:

Eric Holder just wanted to help. Instead, the Obama alum finds himself at the center of an ethics complaint against Steve Dettelbach, alleging that the Democratic candidate for Ohio attorney general abused the law to use gambling as a fundraising tool.

Holder got into trouble when he let the Dettelbach campaign raffle off a meet-and-greet opportunity. A raffle ticket for as little as $5 could win Obama fans an opportunity to meet with the former U.S. attorney general.

Either those lawmen didn’t know the law or they didn’t care. As the Cincinnati Inquirer reported, Ohio law prohibits political campaigns from putting on games of chance, a fact the Dettelbach campaign would have known if they had reviewed the law conveniently posted at OhioAttorneyGeneral.gov.

Soon the campaign will get better acquainted with the law. Mark Miller, a conservative citizen from Cincinnati, just filed a complaint with the Ohio Elections Committee. Miller argues that Dettelbach is guilty of operating a “scheme of chance” against the law.

Keep reading…